Your voice matters in therapy
“Simply showing up to therapy is an act of courage.”
- Lexi Muniak, Registered Psychotherapist
Whether it's your first session or your fiftieth, choosing to step into a space where you're invited to be honest and vulnerable isn't always easy. Therapy isn't about saying the "right" thing, it's about building a relationship where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences at your own pace.
Your needs, preferences, and feedback all have a place in the therapy room. Learning to ask for what you need is often part of the therapeutic work itself. Whether that means asking to slow down, take a break, revisit a topic later, or try a different approach, your voice matters.
If you've ever wondered, "Can I ask my therapist that?" the answer is probably yes
Things you can ask your therapist
You don't have to have all the words. Even small requests can help shape your therapy experience and make the space feel more supportive.
Can we keep things light today?
Can we slow down?
Can we change the subject?
Can you remind me what we talked about last session?
Can we come back to this another time?
Can we take a quick break?
Can you help me draft this message?
Can you challenge me here?
Can we check in on my progress?
Can we try something different?
When vulnerability feels scary
Therapy can be one of the few places where you're encouraged to say the hard things out loud. To name your feelings, share your story, and open up about the parts of yourself you've learned to keep hidden.
And yet, after a deeply honest session, self-doubt often shows up.
"Did I say too much?"
"Why did I share that?"
This experience is sometimes called a vulnerability hangover; the emotional discomfort that can follow opening up in a meaningful way.
If opening up feels difficult, you don't have to begin with your deepest thoughts. Sometimes the bravest step is simply finding any words at all when your nervous system wants to stay quiet.
Sometimes, small words open the door to big conversations
I don't know how to put this into words
It's hard for me to ask for help
This feels uncomfortable to share because I'm not used to talking about my feelings
I'm struggling with this
I'm ready to open up
I need a little more time before I can talk about this
I don't have this all figured out
I usually keep this to myself
I almost didn't say anything because I didn't want to seem weak
This is hard for me to say, and I'm not even sure what I need yet
Caring for a vulnerability hangover
Opening up takes courage. If you're feeling emotionally tender after sharing, these practices can help you care for yourself with compassion.
1 Practice self-compassion
After being vulnerable, your inner critic may become louder. You might wonder if you shared too much or said the wrong thing. Rather than criticizing yourself, try speaking to yourself the way you would speak to someone you care about. Vulnerability deserves kindness, not judgment.
2 Care for yourself
Check in with yourself. What do you need today? Maybe it's a glass of water, a nourishing meal, fresh air, movement, rest or a grounding exercise to help bring your attention back to the present moment and remind your nervous system that you’re safe right now.
Try this exercise:
Name 5 things you can see.
Name 4 things you can touch.
Name 3 things you can hear.
Name 2 things you can smell.
Name 1 thing you can taste.
3 Reflect with curiosity
After you've been vulnerable, you may notice a part of you that wants to shut down, overthink, or convince you that sharing was a mistake. Instead of pushing that part away, approach it with curiosity.
You might ask yourself:
What am I afraid will happen because I shared that?
When did I first learn that being vulnerable was dangerous?
What would help me feel safe right now?
4 Seek support
A vulnerability hangover can leave you feeling isolated. Consider reaching out to someone who feels emotionally safe. Being met with empathy and understanding can help regulate your nervous system and remind you that vulnerability doesn't always lead to rejection.
You might ask yourself:
Who helps me feel seen and accepted?
What kind of support would feel most helpful right now?
Can I allow someone to sit with me instead of trying to carry this alone?
Healing often begins when we discover that we don't have to carry everything in isolation. Growth in therapy isn't measured by how much you share in a single session. Sometimes it's found in the quiet courage to show up and let yourself be seen even when it feels vulnerable.
Lexi Muniak, Registered Psychotherapist
At Holly Blue Psychotherapy Group, we take a collaborative approach to online therapy for individuals, relationships and families in Ontario.
Lexi uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based, compassion-focused approaches to support you on your journey toward growth and meaningful change.
Click the link below to book a free 15-minute consultation.
